


Don't Knock It 'Till You Try It

by TheLoneRaven909



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chains, Collars, Comeplay, Incest, M/M, Rope Bondage, Sensation Play, Threesome, haha humanstuck, he has a huge crush on john, he wanted this, jealousy sex, john just rolled with it, kurloz moves in, kurloz was like hell yeah mofo, lots and lots of wordplay, this is all Gamzee's fault, two sex gods in one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 17:27:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLoneRaven909/pseuds/TheLoneRaven909
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You never knew that Gamzee had a cousin.<br/>He was creepy, in your opinion. But he was also sweet and kind!</p><p>Although..you've been noticing the looks your boyfriend and his relative have given each other.<br/>They're up to something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tumblr Blog ClownShipping](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Tumblr+Blog+ClownShipping).



> (Okay so this idea has been sitting around in my head for a long time? Aaakvjgfj I ship really hard and if anyone would be willing to make Fan art for this I would be eternally sobbing. Anyway, this is dedicates to the fan girls and ClownShipping on Tumblr! Enjoy!)

Life was great. You were finally eighteen, finally living on your own. Well, hehe, you were living with your boyfriend of three years! Gamzee had made the choice first. He bought a tiny apartment downtown next to the candy shop (he knew you loved it there). You'd been living together for what, afew months now? Going to highschool, striving for perfection. You wanted to go to college. Gamzee decided he would drop out and work at that candy shop. He got paid just enough for you two to stay afloat. And by that, you mean living off of top ramen and using paper plates/cups and plastic silverware. You didn't mind not having real plates or whatever, as long as you had Gamzee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

You wake with a start, panting in a cold sweat. Holy shit; that was not a dream you wanted to remember. But your nightmare isn't what had woken you. You sit up, reaching for your glasses. Once they're on you slip out of bed, kissing your lover's cheek before you go. You tiredly walk acrossed the room (since your living room,dining room and kitchen are all connected) to the front door. Whoever is knocking hasn't stopped since you woke up. You run a hand through your hair, grumbling. "Oh my goodness..I'm coming!" Once at the front door you unlock the deadbolt and hesitantly open the door. Your eyes widen, and you scream.

Well, you would have screamed, if a black-gloved hand hadn't covered your mouth first.

He was a living nightmare. Dressed in all black, you could only make out his eyes. They were purple. Dark, dubious indigo.  
......like Gamzee.

The man puts his index finger to his lips and let's go of your face. You back up, and he matches your steps, walking forward until he's inside. Then, he closes the door and turns back to look at you. 

In the light, you feel your breath whoosh out of you.

He wasn't a nightmare. More like the dark angel of death. 

He wasn't old like you'd first thought. He was young, around your age. Tall, and dangerously thin. Thinner than your boyfriend, and he was VERY thin. The man was indeed wearing all black. Black skinny jeans, a ripped line from his thigh to his shin on each leg. Zippers down the sides. He was wearing a black hoodie in skeleton print, with matching gloves. Bright purple Supras were worn on his feet. His hair was curly and wild, and so familiar..

The most alarming thing was his face. He had facepaint that resembled a skull. 

 

You put your hands to your mouth, gasping quietly. It was like staring at a copy of Gamzee!  
The man looks at you and smiles, then starts to move his hands. Oh..  
He must be deaf! You look around. "U-uhh.. G-Gamzee!" You lock your eyes on the open bedroom door and hear a shuffle inside, but your attention is torn back to the man. He's shaking his head and waving his hands. You feel a solid comfort morph around you and you finally breathe. Gamzee puts his hands on your shoulders. His voice is husky and his eyes are hazy. The man drops his hands, his own eyes widening. 

"What the motherfuck are you doing in my house..?"

You thought Gamzee looked better without his facepaint. But it also made him twice as terrifying when he was angry. Two heated glares lock on each other and you stand there, confused and a little scared. "Uhm..boys.." Their glares disssolve after a moment, and you feel Gamzee relax behind you. "Get the motherfuck over here and give a brother a hug, Kurbro." The boy smiles and sighs quietly. "Hurry, before I fuckin' rip your guts out." You don't have enough time to slip away before the man rushes over. You get crushed between the two bros' tender embrace. The man smelt sweet and tangy. Like something you'd never smelt before. Was it some kind of spice? Your eyes widen when you feel a hand on your ass. What the fuck? You hope that was Gamzee. 

 

His name is Kurloz. He's Gamzee's distant cousin from Japan. Gee, he must have travelled far to get to Washington! You wonder why Kurloz is Japanese, if Gamzee is Filipino. Your boyfriend explains that Kurloz is mute. Great..you better start learning sign language... 

Oh.

Kurloz was kicked out of his private school..

Oh.

....for practicing voodoo on the Rec. Instructer. The poor inexperienced teacher lost the use of his legs because of it.

..Geez! Kurloz was sounding creepier by the second! Voodoo..? It reminded you of Gamzee's Mirthful Messiahs phase. It was a cult he picked up in the Philippines before you'd met. He was such a believer, it blew you away. But your ex-best bro bullied him profusely about it in middle school. This went on for so long that Gamzee began to hurt himself. It took several kisses to his wrists to make him smile again. As you got older, he began to lose patience with the cool kid. After an infuriated Argument in tech class, Dave smashed a computer and slashed Gamzee's face three times with a shard of glass. That was the day you stopped being friends. That was also the day Gamzee stopped believing. He hasn't mentioned the Messiahs since. Sometimes you miss his rambling about Miracles.

It took a shitton more kisses and year of rehab to get him off pot. Gamzee had been smoking weed since before he's come to Washington. Long before he met you. But he was finally clean and sober, and never going back. You can't deny that Gamzee hasn't changed because of his addiction, he has. But at least he's stable now. You had enough scars from his withdrawal. 

So Kurloz was staying here for awhile. You know there isn't enough room for him, but you'll make it work. Any relative of your boyfriend was a friend of yours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been afew months since Kurloz moved in. It turns out he isn't actually mute. He simply made a vow to his Angel of Double Death to stay silent until his 19th birthday. But he was already 19, just having a hard time talking again.

 

You're certain he has something for you. Kurloz has attempted to hold your hand, hug you, kiss you, once he even pushed you up against a wall. You're very hesitant with him. What bothers you is the fact that he and Gamzee share secrets you could never know. Things that frighten you.

Kurloz and Gamzee get in fights easily. Every day, almost. They both come out of it bloody, and you're tired of stitching and icing and cleaning. Gamzee is now so tired and angry when he gets to bed, you don't even have the chance to kiss him. You're starting to regret this...

It's proven that they're up to something now. Kurloz was looking though his stuff, and when you walked in he squeaked and hid it. You've been practicing your sign language. Tonight, when Kurloz gets home from his verbal classes you'll practice with him. But it's Friday, and Gamzee doesn't have to work. You were planning on having a romantic evening with your boyfriend, but he's sleeping! You sigh and colapse on the couch-claimed as Kur's bed-. It was going to be a long night. You retrieve your little salamander Casey and let her crawl over your fingers. You play with her for a while, giving her a bath and plenty of kisses. Around eleven you give up waiting and start to get tired, before you know it, you can't keep you're eyes open.

~~~~~~~~

You feel something on your neck, and your hazy mind recollects. Its a kiss. Another one. You smile lightly. "Mmm, Gamzee, you finally came around.." You wrap your arms loosely around his neck and he lifts you up,hands on your thighs holding you in place. He continues to kiss your neck, jolts of pleasure shivering down your spine. The world tilts as he starts to walk, and the next time you take a breath,your heart stops.

It's not Gamzee.

Your eyes shoot open and you gasp as teeth catch your skin and bite down. Oh my God, it's Kurloz.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Just a heads up. When you copy/paste to find out what Kurloz is saying, do NOT copy the quotation marks! It will mess up the outcome. Make sure you only copy the actual characters,and all of the periods/ exclamation points, just not the quotation marks.))

Alarms are blaring in your head. This is wrong, all wrong. "K-Kurloz, let go of me..." You struggle to hold in a moan when his teeth travel to your earlobe.  
Your breath leaves you in a whoosh when those lips move to form words.  
" 心配しないで、私はちょうどあなたにお風呂を与えている。"  
His voice is like silk, literally flowing from Jesus' wounds. For not having spoken in so long, how could his voice be so smooth and...sensual? You squirm under his touch. You didn't even know what Kurloz was saying, but the way he said it turned you on. You've always had a sorta/kinda/maybe fetish for different languages. Gamzee would always whisper things in Filipino just to drive you nuts. And now, Kurloz was doing the same thing. You were being turned on beyond belief. "Mmm...K-Kurloz..." He chuckles softly and slips into the small bathroom. You weren't expecting that. What. "Uh.." 

You look up at him, and he looks back. He smiles softly.

" 私はお尻に硬いあなたをファックするつもりです.  
彼が嫉妬になります...  
あなたは私のもの. "

You try to ignore the tingle up your spine as he hoists you into one arm and tests the water in the bathtub. You frown. What the hell. The bathroom is warmly lit, covered in bottles you don't remember buying, smelling like that weird spice, and the bathtub is already filled and the water is a creamy rose color. You blush. Kurloz did all of this while you were asleep. Sneaky fucker. 

Suddenly, your shirt is being taken off and slender hands are gripping your body, unzipping your jeans. You freeze up and jerk away from his cold hands. "Hey! S-stop that!" The Capricorn glances at you and puts a finger to your lips. You frown. "Kurloz, you need to put me dow-"  
He slips off your boxers in one smooth motion, dropping them to the floor. You instantly slap your thighs together and squeak. "U-uh.." Kurloz doesn't do anything in reply, he just simply slides your glasses off and places them on the bathroom counter. He lifts you off of his knee and now you're being placed in the water. It's soothingly warm, making your muscles relax on contact. You become putty in the water, sighing as you sink into the tub. The clouded liquid rises to your shoulders. You come back to reality and hazily look up at your offender. He's smiling at you, happier than you've seen before. He looks...afraid almost. As if he's walking on nails or something. You tell him as such. "Kurloz, why do you look so nervous..?"  
" 私は、あなたが幸せになりたい。これは、すべてが完璧でなければならないことを意味します。"  
You don't know what he just said. "Uhm,..could you maybe..sign that for me..?" He nods and uses his hands this time. You're not a pro at sign language, but you make out something about him wanting you to be happy and something about perfection. You blush. Was he trying to make this perfect for you? Why? ...what about Gamzee? What was he even going to say about this? ..you would call for him, but your boyfriend sleeps like a corpse. You bite your lip.  
"Oh..."  
Kurloz smiles again, then locks the door. When he starts to strip you avert your eyes and try to hide your oncoming blush. He has a really nice body, for being so skinny. But Kurloz is such a contrast to Gamzee. His skin is deathly pale, the opposite of your boyfriend's caramel complexion. You still wonder if they are really related...  
You jump as Kurloz slips into the tub, in front of you. He's holding something. Is that a sponge? His free hand grasps your hip and you're being slowly pulled closer to him. You try to squirm away, but something deep down won't let you. You don't want to see Kurloz look hurt again. So you let him handle you, tracing your curves with his slender fingers. He starts to gently massage the sponge into your back, making you sigh quietly. It felt great. You've never been treated so gently and...plushly before in your life. Gamzee was comforting, yes, but he'd never gone to this extreme before. You look at Kurloz, a look of pity on your face. Why did he care so much? Why was he even doing this? Was it some kind of Japanese custom or something? You've stopped caring at this point. Now you're thankful for such treatment. 

You let out a loud gasp when your hips meet. You lift your legs and wrap them around Kurloz's hips, and he makes an attractive sound through clenched teeth. He puts a hand on your thigh and spreads your legs gently. You bite your lip and close your eyes. "K-Kurloz...." You trail off and forget to breath once his mouth is at your neck again. Unf..  
"A-aah...!" You let out a squeal when the Capricorn thrusts forward, pushing past your muscles and slipping inside of you. You grip his shoulders, face red. "O-oh god.." He smiles against your skin and bites your neck, hard. You moan, leaning your head back. "Oohhhh..." His warm tongue does miracles to your body as he licks up your blood. He's whispering again, the sound and feel sending you into a fit of shivers. "Mmm.." Kurloz is rocking into you at a slow pace, leaving dark bruises on your skin. His face paint is smeared all over your neck, but you don't mind. You actually pull the sponge out of his fingers and lift it to his pale face.

Confused, he signs, "what are you doing?" You smile at him and start to clean off the skull-themed paint. Kurloz doesn't stop you, dropping his hands to your hips and keeping them there. You pause several times to moan or close your eyes, caught in the bliss Kurloz is providing. Once the pigment is gone, you set the sponge in the water and look at him. Kurloz stares back at you, looking completely vulnerable. There were so many features you'd never seen before that were clear now. Kurloz had a really nice smile. You cup his face in your hands, just staring at his indigo eyes, wide and gentle. You could see so much emotion in those eyes right now. Everything you had be suspecting. It made you want to cry, how much this boy loved you. Your voice is very quiet, strained at most. ".....Kurloz..." The Capricorn's smile softens and he rubs your hips with his thumbs. You sigh through your teeth. "..is-is this what..you want..?" He nods slightly, halting in his rhythm to look at you. As if he's waiting for your approval.  
" あなたは美しいです..  
私にあなたを愛させてください!  
私は、あなたが私の名前を叫ぶようにしたい.. "  
You look at him a moment more. You know you're in trouble if you continue. But you'll also be in trouble if you don't. ......You just hope Gamzee will understand.  
"Okay, Kurloz."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~


	3. Chapter 3

You look down, biting your lip. Kurloz's face softens and he keeps his eyes on yours, never wavering. You smile, letting go of all caution as you bring his face close and kiss him. His lips are cold, and they feel good against your rather hot ones. The moment your lips meet the Capricorn starts up his rhythm again. He's thrusting slowly into you, teeth nipping at your bottom lip as he suppresses a moan. You wrap your arms around his neck and whine throughout the kiss, feeling his tongue slide across the roof of your mouth. Kurloz tastes as good as he smells. Its so new to you, the sensations are addicting. "A-ahh.." His nails lightly dig into your hips, but its a good feeling. He attaches his mouth to your neck again, making you curl your body into his, moaning louder. "F-fuck.." Kurloz is saying incoherent things in Japanese now, thrusting faster into your tight ass. It stings a little, but the pleasurable aftershock is so, so worth it. You're shaking really hard now, even the soothing water isn't enough. 

In a blurry daze you notice Kurloz pick up a small purple bottle. The label is in Japanese. You're nervous about what it is, but you also trust Kurloz at the same time. He pops the cap open and pours a little on his hand. You watch him do so, panting quietly to yourself. What was that for? He meets your gaze again and you bite your lip, just knowing that Kurloz has something in mind. He slips his hand under the water and you moan when his thin fingers wrap around your dick loosely. "M-mm!" Whatever he just put on your member, its making your skin tingle and heat up. He opens another bottle and starts to pour it on your body, drizzling the clear liquid over your chest and shoulders. You tilt your head and whimper as Kurloz leans closer and licks the stuff off of your heated flesh. It smells like pomegranate. He strokes you faster and and makes you jump in his lap, gasping. "Ahhh, Kurloz! O-ohh.." You feel his muscles tense under your fingers and you know he's close. Kurloz grabs your hips and starts thrusting into you quickly, his breathing becoming fast and ragged. You throw your head back and curl into his body, nails digging into Kurloz's shoulders. "Oh god! Don't stop, oh Kurloz d-dont stop!" You pant loudly and suddenly its too much; you stop breathing and become developed in sensations. Kurloz's tongue on your collarbone, his nails in your hips, the tingling, the smell. It all becomes to much. You hear a strained moan come from his lips and you realize he'd cum inside of you. You can feel the hot liquid fill you and that's it. "Ahhhh!" You moan his name as you climax yourself, breath finally returning to your lungs.

You collapse onto kurloz's body, panting into his neck. "..Mmm.." You can feel him smile softly as he kisses his way back to your lips. He whispers something contently into your ear, pulling out of your very used bum. You close your eyes, relaxing completely in his arms. Kurloz pulls the plug to the bathtub and grabs a towel, wrapping it around you. The Capricorn picks you up and you wrap your arms and legs around him, resting your head on his shoulder. Kurloz quietly leaves the bathroom, arms tight around you. You hear familiar footsteps and feel kurloz tense up. You catch your breath. Gamzee.  
You look at him out of the corner of your eye, glad he can't see you. You can't see kurloz's face either, but you just know he's smiling. Flaunting. He won. Gamzee stops around the corner and looks at him, eyes narrowed to slits.  
"What the motherfuck do you think you're doing, brother."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Wow haha sorry for the short chapter! I've been really busy and without internet for a while, but this has been sitting in my notes, being finished slowly but surely! Don't worry, I'm getting there!))


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (ugh i keep prrocrastinating ofgjh i have so many fanfictions to update i feel awful because i know what it feels like to wait forever and then it never happens  
> im sorry guys its just i plan out everything that happens and then i get bored of the idea. like in the span of a week i created Slumstuck, then like two days later i made Orphanstuck hjuouio im sorryyyy)

You just want to sink into the floor, you're that embarrassed. You can feel the anger literally radiating off of him. You hide your face into Kurloz's neck; you did not want to have to see Gamzee right now. He's always had anger problems, and after an incident like this, who knew what he'd do? You're pretty sure he'd never hit you or anything, but at this point, he could do anything.

Kurloz lets out this low sound that you realize is a laugh. You shiver at the sound of it. God damnit. 

“それは、誰かが嫉妬しているように見えます。”Even the way he's speaking just screams victory. You bite your lip. Something awful is going to happen. Out of the corner of your eye you can still see your boyfriend, and he looks so...upset. Gamzee's fists are clenched and his face is a darker shade of caramel than usual. His jaw is tight; you think he might be grinding his teeth too.

"You better motherfucking start speaking English before I fucking rip your teeth out," Gamzee hisses. You catch your breath when suddenly he's closed the distance between you and his hand is grabbing your waist, pulling you off of Kurloz. Kurloz lets you go, with only the slightest bit of hesitation. He is smiling, like you'd thought. The smile quickly fades once Gamzee has you though. Your boyfriend is holding you like you're china; for god's sake you've told him not to do that. He looks down at you with concern, underneath his anger. "What did he do to you, John? Are you okay?" His eyes narrow. “Did he hurt you?" You're washed over with another wave of guilt. Oh gosh. What had you done? You sigh quietly and just relax in his comforting arms; you would have to answer him later.

Your empty response seems to piss Gamzee off more. He must think Kurloz actually hurt you! You're about ready to stop Gamzee from starting another fight, but he doesn't move. The room gets silent until the tension is almost visible between them. You're chewing the hell out of your bottom lip. Its torture, watching them glare at each other. It's been like this since Kurloz moved in. Sometimes you wonder what life would be like right now if he had stayed in Japan. 

While you're too busy thinking Kurloz grabs Gamzee’s face and oh my god they’re kissing. And it’s not some short little good bye kiss. It’s a goddamn mouthy kiss; you can literally see their tongues in each other’s mouths. You gasp softly, or maybe it’s a moan, and hold your boyfriend’s shirt tighter. You feel his hand slide down your back and he breaks the kiss to look down at you, free hand wiping his mouth. His face paint is smeared now, and there’s some grey on Kurloz too. A smile plays with the corner of his mouth before Gamzee gets serious again. He pulls back and flips Kurloz the bird. “Go the fuck to sleep. We’ll deal with it tomorrow.”  
Gamzee carries you back to your room, locking the door behind him. He locks the deadbolt too; you guess he really doesn’t want you near Kurloz for a while. He puts you down on the bed and sits next to you, as worried as ever. He gently checks your body, face growing redder and anger showing clear on his face. You know Gamzee sees the bites and bruises. His voice is really quiet when he speaks. “Why did you let him do this?” You can’t answer him at first, avoiding his indigo eyes. Eventually you shuffle nervously and mumble,” I really don’t know, Gamzee...” Thinking back, actually, you don’t know. It was just the way Kurloz looked at you, as if you were some prize he’d been searching for. You think maybe he’d always looked at you that way, but you hadn’t noticed. You get lost in thought until you feel Gamzee’s lips on your neck. Your eyes widen slightly; what? Tingles run up your spine and you fight back making any noises because you’re still pretty shocked. Wasn’t he supposed to be mad at you? You were so certain a minute ago that he was gonna ignore you all night. You relax under your boyfriend’s touch and sigh. Maybe all these years of being together worked out after all.  
Yeah. You two were too close to break up over something as silly as this.

Although…

As Gamzee keeps kissing you, down your shoulder and to each fingertip, you can’t help but think that he’s not doing this out of passion, but jealousy. Like he’s trying to get rid of any trace Kurloz left behind.  
Suddenly, you feel very much like an object.

 

 

Gamzee hasn’t talked to his cousin in a long time. You actually expected him to kick the kid out, but he hasn’t yet. Sometimes you think you don’t know Gamzee as much as you thought you did. You haven’t seen Kurloz in a while, actually. He only ever comes home past midnight and doesn’t say a word. You feel really, really guilty. Damn it. The apartment is so quiet now. Gamzee works longer hours; you didn’t think such a thing was possible, and comes home early in the morning, disappearing at 10 AM. You’re worried about him getting too little of sleep. He’s overworking himself, and you can’t help but think you’re the reason. After the fourth day of being entirely alone and feeling hollow with regret, you decide to visit a long-time friend. Karkat went to school with you up until highschool. Then he moved a district away and you haven’t heard much from him since. He was close with Gamzee. You think talking to and old friend would atleast help with the loneliness. 

You leave a note for Gamzee or Kurloz or whoever gets home first. You make a small lunch for him too; just a way of sealing the deal. A container full of Snow crab. His favorite. You grab your hoodie and head out of the apartment, walking down the street. You don’t own a car, those things are way too much money for the budget Gamzee and you make. So, you begin your fitful journey to Tacoma. Oh, how you hated busy places. 

Gamzee decided to get off early today. It was 6:30, much earlier than he was usually home. He goes to the front door and finds it unlocked. John must have gone somewhere. He was the only person in the apartment that left the front door unlocked. Gamzee trudged inside, kicking off his shoes. He looked around, where was that motherfucker. He had plans for tonight, big plans. John deserved it, and even though his brother didn’t he was gonna get the chance. Then that fucker was outta here. Gamzee was sicka his young ass playin’ shit. He wanted to marry john this summer and not have a kid to deal with. As if on cue, there that motherfucker was, comin’ through the door right now. He narrows his eyes at Gamzee and tries to walk past him, but the older of the two caught him by the arm and brought his face close, frowning. “You better listen up motherfucker. I’ve got plans for tonight. Then you’re leaving. Got it?” Kurloz glared at him and signed, “Crystal.” Gamzee closed the door and tugged him back to the bedroom. They had planning to do. 

 

Karkat wasn’t as excited to see you as you would have thought. He stares at you blankly as you stand at his doorstep, holding your gift out in front of you. After what seems like forever he mumbles, “John?” You smile and wave a little. “Hey there, Karkat. It’s been a while, huh?” 

~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((okay FINE GUYS i updated it for real, happy now?))


End file.
